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Archive for October, 2008

Parents disapproved marriage

Posted by karthikjcecs on October 20, 2008

This write up is not concluding wheather the above subject is correct or wrong, but things to keep in mind to do it after when it happens.

Let me describe about the usual thinking from both sides.

Boy/girl who got married:

“Its my life, I know better than anyone about with whom I can lead a happy life. Why my parents are telling “no”? They should not tell no. If they accept, every one will be happy, why they are making me as well as themselves unhappy?”

Parents:

“Our child would not be happy if he/she marry her/him. Why our child is not listening to us even if we are telling to his/her goodness. We have accepted for each and every wish, at least in this cannot he/she go as we say?”

Parents will be having a reason for proving above statement (The reason obviously would not convince child). Initially parents tell for a good reason, but when child do not accept, it turns out to think as “He/She has to listen us in this regard.”
Situation after the marriage,

Parents: Will be in so frustrated state.

Child: will also be in the same state thinking that it gave lot of sorrows to their parents.

What is required ultimately is both should start to be in happy state as soon as possible. Without making any delay should go to parents and share what all you had thought before and why exactly you did like that. I would recommend to write a letter rather than speaking as words tell more deeply and also do not stop you expressing things.  I have seen quite a few such incidents and all ended with both comprimising, but the difference is time that took. Till comprimise both will not be happy, so rather than thinking much what to do, go and execute it. Some parents become so excited and angry if child come in front of them marrying someone, most of children think “why simply do I make my parents unhappy by going in front of them” But I tell you, parents’ situation will be even frustrating and irritating if you do not go.

Some other people without knowing the circumstances tell “you have done a great mistake, see how much worried your parents are. You should not have done this.” Do not even listen to these statements, its of no use. I would believe no one takes such a decision with out thinking much. The circumstances would have forced to do so. But later, these kind of statements makes you think that your decision was wrong. Without thinking like that, make your parents happy.

Never ever wait till your parents comes to you. They wants to come but some unknown force will be stopping them.

I did not think its correct or not to write such a sensitive blog but I just felt like writing. Its just my veiw may not be true in all cases. So please no comments on this, ask me only if  you do not understand what I have written (My grammer is weak 😦 ).

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